God is faithful

God never changes. Only my understanding of God may change over time. Thank you Lord for building me up again. Thank you for installing within me that boldness to persevere and reach out. That I can fully grasp again, that I am fully saved by grace through faith. Lord I cannot earn your love, but I do so want to help to advance your kingdom! The problem is was running in front of you, not behind you. I was trying to meet an expectation that was not yours, and so I grew more and more weary. What an experience. And Lord I thank you.

1Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: 2By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. (Romans 5:1-4)

Lord today I was able to pray for people and tell them about your goodness again. I saw sad faces starting to smile, and two people telling me they had no more pain and the other that they felt very happy after prayer. I thank you Lord that I can not only bless them by telling them about you, but that you have also given me the means to bless them financially. I pray you will sustain this in  my life. But if not, then I know even that will be a blessing!

Lord Jesus, thank you for doing a great work in me. Please have your way Lord, your way is good, my way is disappointing, too hard and tiring. Your yolk is light, and it is you who gives me rest.

Father in heaven, thank you for the revelation given to me via Scott Clarke, that the books written by Paul are for the body of Christ, Hebrews and onward is written for the Jews, to redeem them during the tribulation period. (Note to self, futher study….)

All praise be to Jesus Christ!


Set back – when the storm came

I fully came to Christ about 2 years ago. I repented, got baptized and received the Holy Spirit. I was elated. As I had seen the spiritual reality both of God and of the devil the teaching of Mr Curry Blake but also of others such as of Mr Torben Sonderguard rang true. They helped to wake me up and equip me to follow Jesus Christ.
I was “kick-started” to help heal the sick and preach the Gospel, and to set people free from demons in Jesus name. I’ve witnessed deliverance and healing. My walk was full on in the Lord. I never felt so alive. I was full of energy and every spare minute of the day (when not concentrating on the job or on my kids) my mind was on Christ. I was giving the Holy Spirit all the room and I was even used by the Lord to bring 5 people at my work to Christ! Baptism and all. And this in a very “professional” secular environment…
I wasn’t perfect, but my love for the Lord and to obey Him seemed perfect.
Then came an accident. I fell from a ladder and crushed my heelbone. I was hospitalised. I tried to pray right away but I was overwhelmed with pain. My parents were on the scene, my kids, it was too much for me to handle. My foot was operated on a week later and I wasn’t allowed to walk on it for 3 months. I was given morphine 4-6 weeks. Getting off themwas a terror as well. I went through a week of no sleep as I quit using them cold turkey. My faith in God never faded, but my faith in my ability to work for God faded immensely.
The accident took place in September 2017. Now that I’ve been fully back to work since end of January I feel deflated.
I feel I let God down, Im frustrated at some of my family members who instead of praying with me would be all to ready to point out that “see, you can’t even “heal” your “heel”. No Matter how clear I am that it is Jesus who heals when healing takes place…
I won’t let the Devil nor his Minions win, they have taken advantage of the situation by many smaller attacks of course and I’m getting warn down. I try to fast, I can’t even complete one day. I don’t feel confident anymore to pray for people out of fear of getting one more rejection. And while I’m writing this I understand I have to push through. And I will, but I could really use some prayer to help me get out of this miserable state. Less of me more of Jesus. But my mind is foggy as well. I can’t handle too much input. I feel overtired.
Thank you for your prayers, Jesus will prevail in me!

Baptism – False tongues – Latin!

Last weekend I attended another Kickstart weekend with Torben. I love to see Gods power at work and it was great to come together with so many like-minded people!

Many things happened, good teaching, people baptized and set free. I was watching a friend of mine baptizing someone in a nearby lake. There was crowd of about 200 hundred people there. That person getting baptized was having quite a fight within him but of course was delivered and filled with the Holy Spirit eventually. It was beautiful. He was elated! I spoke with him afterwards and we continued praying in the Spirit, Gods presence was so strong and he was just so happy!

Then a young lady came to us and she asked us if we would pray for her. I sensed she was very much bound by a demonic presence. I said of course, and asked what was it she needed prayer for? She said she had given her life to the devil at the age of 13. Ok, I thought, this might take some time. I also figured it was a great opportunity for the newly baptized guy to pray along and experience his new identity as a disciple of the real biblical messiah, Jesus Christ.

I asked her where she was at in terms of repentance, water baptism and baptism of the Holy Spirit. She said she was baptized this last January. So I didn’t think of baptism and we started praying and pretty soon something started to manifest. In intervals of loud screams and wrestling she would fall silent. She even spoke something that sounded like Latin at one point which I have not seen before, some thought she was praying in tongues, but I sensed it was not of the right sort. We kept praying until I got a clear thought that she needed to be Baptized. The thought wasn’t my own as I was under the impression she had been baptized. So then I asked her, are you willing to repent and get baptized and she agreed. So we helped her up (we were now with about 6 people praying for her, one of whom later appeared to be her betrothed!). Once in the water she repented and asked Jesus to be her Lord. We baptized her and immediately she was delivered when she came up out of the water! It was amazing. her whole complexion changed! Her smile was soft and kind, no longer a smirky arrogant one. She was so happy! We all were and we praised God and rejoiced together. It was wonderful.

Afterwards she said she had prayed whom she should go to to seek help. She told us God had shown her eithher to come to us or to this other lady. The lady was called away before she could speak with her and so she came to us. The fadt that she came to us and that it appeared that the baptism was a key element to her final deliverance was a strong message for me as the week prior I had been questioning whether baptism was really always necesary. The answer is yes! If you want to be free and be able to recieve the Holy Spirit, a full water emersion cleansing is necessary.

Notice the instructions the apostel Peter gave to thousands of people who asked what they should do in order to receive eternal life. His first directive was to “REPENT.” His second was to “. . . be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38).

Now not all baptisms are the same. Everyone is different. Every baptism is different. Some people don’t experience a fight and are immediately filled with the Holy Spirit. This experience was specifically good for me, as it clearly showed me once more the power of repentance and the washing away of sins through the baptism to Jesus.

Thank you Father, I pray that you will open the eyes of the heart of anyone who stumbles across these pages; that your kingdom will grow on earth as it is in heaven; that people will choose to turn back to you and walk in your power and your love and come to a greater understanding of your great plan of redemption for us all.





Good vs evil – Free will

God is a good God. He created us with a free will. And we are free to choose. Good and Evil. How free would we be if every time we wanted to go against the nature of God, He would block us? He won’t. From the beginning, He never wanted us to have to face darkness. However, if He would not have given us the choice, the opportunity to face it, we would not have been created in His likeness.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. Genesis 1:27

Our first choice was given to us in the Garden of Eden. We chose to know about good and evil. Did God know we would eat of the tree of good and evil against His command? I believe so. And I believe He had His redemptive plan ready all along. By eating of the fruit of that tree we digested darkness. No longer were we beings of light. Our reality changed. Paradise (that which is void of evil) could no longer be our home as we had brought evil into our reality, could there be darkness in paradise? So we were removed and now we find ourselves in a fallen world. A world where exits both good AND evil.

Jesus reminds us that Satan is “the prince of this world” (John 12:31), Paul refers to Satan as “the god of this world, who hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine to them.” (2 Corinthians 4:4) and “the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience” (Ephesians 2:2) John makes a further distinction when he says: “We know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness” (1 John 5:19).

Thank God He did not leave us without instruction on how to deal with this world where people have access to evil and the means to manifest it in all its gruesomeness. He gave us a manual. The Bible**! First He gave direction through His prophets in the old testament. They needed to follow strict laws and perform rituals to cleanse themselves from unrighteousness in order to receive from a Holy God. You must understand, what is Holy (sacred, blessed, pure, light, loving and righteous) keeps what is unholy far from it or else it would no longer be “Holy”. But in order for all of us to be able to reconnect to him despite our “unholiness”, He provided salvation for all who dwell on the earth, the sacrifice of Himself, of his only begotten son, to cover the sins of the world, so that all who choose Him could be redeemed by His righteousness. Only then can we receive His life giving Holy Spirit, to stay and make His home within us until the end.

What does that mean? It means each of us can be led into all truth directly by God through His holy Spirit. When we pray, read the Bible and consciously seek to connect with our one creator God on His terms. For me personally this choice and journey meant I received of His peace. He changed my person. My heart has literally changed from where I preferred to stay in house on my couch to where I now love to connect with people. From where I encountered and recognized divine intervention once every few years, to where it has become my daily bread! The overwhelming peace, joy and calmness I experience even when things around me may seem to fall apart is the strongest witness for me that the Lord is guiding my every step day by day perfecting my knowledge of Him. Tweeking my understanding, my discernment through failures and victories.  It is a journey and I love it.

And so it is, that once we turn back to God and ask His forgiveness for our shortcomings and wrong doing and for the years where we put Him last on our priority list or where He was not listed at all, and we thank Him for His great love for us as shown by the greatest sacrifice of His own son Jesus Christ, that He will redeem us and give us life abundantly.

**I will not enter into a long discussion on the preservation of text and different versions of the Bible. If you wish to find God’s truth, the King James Version will help you a long way! And with the help of biblical scolars and messianic Jews who know about the culture and the rituals that the Bible refers to much will become more clear. I found some excellent teachers that reveal many mysteries hidden within scripture which I will list in the media section.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God

Whatever you may think of this blog, this site or of others proclaiming the Good News, if you are hungry for God, please turn back to Him and ask God to reveal to you His truth.

I will relay what I have come to find in all honesty and I love sharing as I love what God has done for me and wish it on the world! But He will answer your call and open your ears and eyes for His truth. The Bible holds such beautiful truth if only it were read. Earnestly ask God to guide you in your search and He will bring it all together. Beware of Ego and be willing to park it on one side for a while, preferably permanently but that comes with the walk.

I was brought up in the understanding that God exists, and that the Bible holds important wisdom for life. My father would read to us, his kids, from the Bible on feast days. Then from a practical viewpoint, I was encouraged to establish myself in life first (education, work, family) and then seek God and His wisdom. I’ve come to realise however, that by the time one has these things up and running, there hardly is any time left to consider the things of our Heavenly Father. Many around me consider themselves kings of their own kingdom, and think they have no need of God. The greatest misconception! If you like having the wind in your back, you need to detect and accept its direction. If you like to know where it leads to, you must consider the source. So to know God is Good is the first step, and to let Him lead is the second.

I have found that He leads me in a loving and righteous way into His truth. Setting me straight and comforting me to deal with any change. He gives me life abundantly. Not necessarily an abundant life (yachts, cars and castles) but receiving of His life giving power, His “living water” abundantly. I have never felt so alive! Walking in the peace of God no matter what comes my way and being effective in loving others and showing by example the freedom of temptation and being right with God.

So, go for it! Take a leap of faith!

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33*

* Note: picking a scripture verse here and there has led skewed and faulty doctrine. Please read 10 verses before and after each verse before interpreting any verse by its own. I do my best to take verses in context, but again encourage all to read the entire chapter in the bible whenever reference is made.




Prayers answered next day

Today has been a really wonderful day. The beauty of it started yesterday. I went over to my colleagues house, whom got baptised as well. (Three colleagues got baptised in the mean time, one was baptised by me and another colleague, such a beautiful experience.)

So I went to my friends house to meet her mother and also to hopefully be allowed to pray for her. She was having a rough time having lost her husband a few years back.

I knew about the family but I’d never met anyone yet so it was great to finally meet her. The evening was lovely, and she agreed to receive prayer. Gods presence was so strong it brought much peace. When I left I was singing in tongues in the car and praising the Lord as I still felt filled with His joy. I knew the prayer in the house and the continued prayer in the car would take effect.

I continued to lift up in prayers the names of other people, particularly of staff at work. One of them whom I had provided some encouragement and offered prayer a while back, but had not answered my email since August. I prayed God would increase the hunger in their heart to know more of Him, and that if He wanted me to play a role in this I would love to do so.

The very next morning I came in to work. My colleague for whose mom I prayed the day before was beaming, her mom had really enjoyed the evening and seemed to have found new energy, she “livened up” so to speak. My colleague was so happy!!

Since her baptism she had relayed bits and pieces of what she had been experiencing and my name had popped up as we often discuss our experiences together. Naturally the family would question who is this person that “led” her to get baptised. She said any doubts her mother may have had had left. I had given her the new book of Johnathan Can, “The book of Mysteries”. She treated it as a precious gift and would start to read it. My colleague and I rejoiced, as my colleagues fear for her mother’s lethargy since the passing of her husband had been lifted.

Then in came an email, the other staff member I had prayed for last night, who hadn’t responded to my offer to help for weeks, contacted me by email first thing in the morning! Fantastic! He asked to receive prayer, he said he wasn’t ready just yet but hoped to meet with me in November. I can’t wait!

Be real, show yourself to others as you are

Today has been an amazing day, going through emotions from an ultimate low to an ultimate high.

A few weeks back I found myself thinking about a new car and googling new cars researching prices etc. I had no need for a new car, there was no reason for this sudden interest. I noticed the thought didn’t let me go. I told my husband I felt we would be needing a new car sooner than we had envisaged. Unfortunately I left it at that and took no further steps to check out our current car properly.

Today, we were all packed and ready to go on holidays when we decided to quickly have the car checked as we heard some rattling noise coming from the back right of the car. My husband took the car to the garage and I completely forgot about my thoughts those few weeks prior. I was expecting good news as the rattling sounded more like one of my kids had dropped a marble which was rolling around somewhere. To the contrary, it was bad. Some axle or rod connected to the wheel suspension was bent (ok, so cars are not my forte). We were advised against travelling.

My heart broke. My 5 year old was all geared up to go, and having to disappoint her was gruelling. And then all the wasted money and preparation, and a ferry to catch around noon! Aargh. I felt sick to my stomach. I cried a little but didn’t want my two year old to notice (the eldest was at the garage with dad). I went into prayer. Asking the Lord for wisdom for my husband and I to handle this situation well.

Thankfully I could change our ferry booking as well as the hotel reservation with limited additional cost. We did our research and found a good car an hours drive up north. A newer model than our old one, which was kind of exciting too! On our way back we stopped at what wee though would be a pancake place, but in actual fact they only served fries and snacks. At first I wanted to leave and get some proper food. But the place was really quaint and the man behind the counter was very engaging and friendly.

So we ordered our fries, and I’m so pleased we did! We got to talking and he shared with us his story of how he had recently bought the place and fixed it up. And how he was loving the flow he was in now but also looking forward to being able to take it a little more easy soon once the project had been properly set up.

I found myself concurring with him that its important to take rest now and then. And that people should more often follow their heart and do what they enjoy, that which brings them fulfilment instead of what they think they have to do in order to meet the expectations of society, family, friends etc.

He pointed out that the painting above my head, which was very dear to him, explained just that! (I’ve asked to be sent a photo of the painting, I cant remember exactly but will upload asap). It was about being genuine. About being who you really are. No facades.

This hit home to me. One of those moments when you hear yourself talking to another person and thinking, wow that’s pretty wise, I should take note myself! In accordance with my previous post I’d been taking it easy for a while. Not engaging with others about Christ as much as I used to and thereby I realised I was no longer on fire. And not being on fire takes away from my courage. And not having courage takes away my boldness to approach people to offer them prayer. And I know that THE way to rekindle that fire is simply to do the will of God. And what is his will? Well at least part of it is cleary described:

7 As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. Matthew 10:7-8

It is the act of faith that relights the fire of Holy Spirit in you. And so I have again learnt this evening. I acted upon the words to be who I really am. And I know, I really am a child of the most high God. I, though I am female, have become a son of God the day I accepted Jesus into my heart! (Gender is not important in the spiritual realm btw). So anyhow, that means that I should act like one. So I referred to the text and explained that I regularly pray for people and offered him prayer. His face lit up. Yes he was clearly pleasantly surprised! And so I explained a little and then prayed for him. And what happened next was mind-boggling!

The music that was playing all evening were regular pop songs. At the moment I finished my prayer and I quieted myself, keeping my hands on his feet, the song that was playing in the back ground was that of Joan Osborne, “One of Us” and the verse that was sang at the moment I shut up was:

If God had a face, what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like Heaven and in Jesus and the saints
And all the prophets? And…

Wow! God never ceases to amaze!

We continued a very interesting conversation. Sharing past experiences and discussing manifestations of God which he had before encountered. When were done I asked him how his feet were doing, and he replied, he didn’t want to interrupt our conversation or he would have told me sooner, but his feet were now warm, whereas they had always been cold (and no, I didn’t lay my hands on in such a manner as to warm his feet…) He felt a warming sensation ever since the prayer.

Missing our boat to England has been so worth it because of this divine appointment. And the rest of the evening my heart felt like it were to explode! I felt like singing and dancing and shouting about His love from the rooftops!

Thank you Lord Jesus!



Rebuke the Devil by healing for God

We celebrated my mothers birthday one Sunday. My mother and I had not long before attended the Last Reformation Kick Start weekend in Zelhem. My mother was eager to share our experiences with the rest of the family. Unfortunately one of the in-laws was not amused about about the experiences she was sharing about healing and deliverance. The conversation quickly and amazingly turned ugly.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

To make a long story short, the discussion was ended and the in-law and their family left ion reasonably good terms, but the damage already seemed to have been done.

I refused to let the birthday end like this. To have the Devil disrupt and take away my mothers joy and the joy of everyone who came to celebrate. I prayed to God that we may manifest His Spirit and prove that the experiences my mother shared were truthful.

As the rest of us walked to the car park, a young lady on crutches came towards us. She was of Indian descent and accompanied by her mother. I was walking in the middle of the group and when we passed each other I asked her directly, what happend to your foot?

She and her mom stopped and she shared she had broken all her toes during a kickboxing match. It made me smile as I had recently learned of another “street healer” who had healed a guy who broke a bone in his fist from fighting. God want to reveal himself to all and it is not up to us to judge who has the greater sin. We have all sinned…

So I asked her if I could pray for her foot and she said yes. I leaned down, prayed in Jesus name and she immediately felt improvement. Prayed one more time and she was astonished. Asked me ow I did it. I explained it’s Jesus! I was too excited myself to continue explaining the Gospel to her, instead I called back the two family members who had walked ahead for them to see what happened. Those behind me stopped and looked on as well. I wished her a great day and she walked off and while she walked off we could all see her firstly give one crutch to her mom and then the second and she walked perfectly normal, still looking about in amazement. Wow! Thank you Lord!



Sitting on the couch, feeling frustrated. I feel like I’m unable to walk in the Spirit and no longer confident to do the Word by myself. I’ve been obsessively trying to find out everything there is to know about God, Jesus and the spiritual reality around us. Finding many treasures and keys during my search but essentially casting them to one side as they did not satiate my hunger to know more, to understand. Not realising that these keys need to be digested. Meditated upon. I gulped them in search of the next.

Speaking with a friend of mine, whom I was honoured to baptise a few weeks ago, she asked me if I ever considered becoming a preacher. Yes I would love to use all my time to study the scripture, preach the Gospel and demonstrate the Spirit. We continued talking and I shared relevant scripture passages with her. I was at the time already overtired. I was diligently seeking the right words to help her, at the same time I did not want to burden her with some of the things I had learned. I had been researching a lot about madness in people and demons and how they manifest. I had encountered an individual who was clearly in severe bondage of a demonic nature. I prayed for the person but felt inadequate at doing so, and I felt the need to be better prepared in case it would needed again in the future. Therefore I had been reading up on peoples experiences. Really focusing on understanding the works of Satan in and through individuals, how his bondage and oppression comes to being and more importantly how it is broken. The research left me feeling burdened and it had sucked the joy out of me. It made me lose hope for some people.

My friend noticed I wasn’t my usual self, and asked me sternly if I was happy. She said she notices my eyes flashing back and forth and said It looked like my eyes were showing signs of madness themselves! And she was right. I had exerted myself. Too much too fast. I was struggling to tie it all together. Information overload and over-tiredness seemed to be getting the better of me. Not good. I agreed I needed to rest and let things rest for a few days.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Honestly it shook me a little. I felt my ego wanting to get into the defensive. But I knew she was right. In fact I had been getting hints to let it all rest but I made excuses to continue researching. I no longer was learning for the better, but more and more looked like a morbid obsession. It literaly gripped me.

Thank God for my friend. I know I would have stepped back into the positive sooner or later, but I’m glad this meeting set me back on track sooner and NOT later. So I recalled that indeed God gave me a sound mind. I needed to take control over my interests. God want us to be strong in body mind amd spirit. And so I thought I’s better focus on the body and the mind a bit more now. So I started to work out, eat properly and read a little less. Nevertheless, while I’m writing this I’m still sitting on that couch and I feel like I’m failing…

I just cried out to the Lord, why am I messing it all up? I wasn’t able to continue doing more research. I just sat quietly on this couch. Interestingly I know all will be fine, but I still feel so shitty that eventhough I truly trust I will be fine for God, I’m pissed off at myself for still messing it all up these past few weeks.

I visualised myself sifting through many pages and documents which partly disintegrated and flew about as I ravaged through them. And after some silence it was revealed unto me that I was disrespecting all the little pearls of truth that had been given to me during my research, during my search for truth. Not taking the time to meditate on them, and give some time for them to become ingrained in my memory and soul. I was acting out the role of the “swine” before which were thrown beautiful pearls and I was trampling over them trying to find the end all truth and knowledge, the bigger picture. And of course this is in fact only known by God the Father Himself. Wow what revelation. In other words, take it easy! Relax! Do what you can in the time and opportunity given to you and if it works out great, if it doesn’t learn from it, dust yourself off and continue in good spirit!

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11: 28-30

And with that came the insight that I need to sit down and post more blogs. I need to write about my experiences and the revelations given to me to help me digest it all! And if you enjoy reading, great! and if it helps you out, even better! For me it is cathartic!

So in essence I started to follow my own will, or at least what I thought I needed. Instead of seeking my lessons from God through experience. I have enough head knowledge as it is. it’s walking in the faith that build the spirit. and who could be a better teacher than the Holy Spirit. He is our portion deliverer! I love it, thank you Lord!


Better a patient person than a warrior,
one with self-control than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.



3 prayer sessions, what a day!

It’s been a while, much has happened since my last post! And yesterday has been real amazing!

After a couple of days of doing mundane business, I was having trouble connecting with God. I had no doubt that God and Jesus were still looking out for me, but I couldn’t seem to lift my spirit, which I prayed about. My prayer even felt mechanic, without the passion I usually feel. Trusting the Lord was still leading me, I accepted the status quo in good hopes that I would be able to do Gods work in the near future.

(It’s funny where I used to experience God a few times a year and that did for me, I am now experiencing his presence at least weekly, and often daily. Going a few days without feels like desert time.)

So yesterday God moved again in a wonderful way!


A colleague whom I had spoken with about The Kingdom and the reality of God and spirituality on several occasions previously, had requested to speak with me once more. The situation they were in had become dire over the past couple of months and they asked for assistance. The person complained about having mood swings ever since they had entered into a dysfunctional relationship some years back, the mood swings had become more extreme. The person is still within the sphere of influence of the ex-partner and I was soon convinced their problems were of a spiritual nature. I listened intently and comforted as much as I could. I knew this person was going to be fine and victorious in Christ. For the sake of future reports on their development in Christ I will call this person “Agnes”. After some talk we went to a private office and prayed for her. Again I was impressed that she was in a period of transformation and would come out victorious. The Holy Spirit came over us and comfort and peace welled up within. When I walked back to my office I felt like I was embraced with Gods love, as if angels were walking besides me and I imagined them giving their protection as I made my way back into “the normal” work setting.

Now Agnes had since we last met watched the video “The beginning” of “The last Reformation” movement. I informed her I would be attending another kickstart weekend in Zelhem, The Netherlands the weekend after next. She wanted to join! Through the tears in her eyes I saw hope arise. Then I realised, that after I attended the kickstart weekend in Alkmaar, and was baptised myself, I prayed to God: “please never let me fall back in to just worldly living again!. Please God do not remove your Holy Spirit from me and lead me to do Your Will!” The next work day was the first day Agnes contacted me and our talks about God started. How wonderful that she was led to contact me again in time to come and join me, another colleague whom I will call “Cathy” and my mom. We had booked a 6 person Chalet, she fits right in!


I came back to the office where my other colleague Cathy was sitting behind her desk. She was not feeling well when I came in as if walking on cloud! I was thrilled by what had just happened. Cathy was visibly happy for me and what God had done and then started to apologise that she felt each time God moved in my life she was bringing me down. (She has been growing in understanding of God, and I have prayed for her several times, including two deliverance prayers which had set her free from chronic stomach trouble. She acknowledges this to be true and is building her relationship with God. She will be coming to the kickstart weekend in Zelhem as well and is considering baptism, which I sincerely hope she will do in order to be set free completely.) But here she was identifying a pattern that she would be down when I was on a God given “high”. I recognise the Devils work, trying to cause for a division, for my patience to run out with her, but it will not. As God himself has been patient with me for years and years on end, so to will I be patient with others. She was instantly comforted and we discussed what was troubling her in order to pray against it effectively. And what happened next was extremely interesting!

She said she felt like she didn’t have any emotions. She didn’t feel anything. She then commented, “I’m not depressed or anything”. I fell for it at first and asked whether the term “”lethargy” might be more concise. She confirmed and we stood up to pray. I commanded the spirit of lethargy to go in Jezus mighty name. I continued with more general prayer. I did not feel any specific sensation or change but I ran out of words and did not feel comfortable enough to continue in tongues. We sat down, she thanked me for my prayer, but I already felt it had not had much or any result. Then she stared to tell me about a recent phone call with her mom. Her mom had spoken to a depressed person and during the conversation with Cathy asked her out of the blue whether or not Cathy might be depressed. Cathy told me that that sentence hit her in her being. She denied, but informed me she had felt awkward. Now this is really interesting for me. Her mother loves her very much and would never have purposely passed on an nasty spirit in any way. However, as Cathy is growing in Christ and her light is starting to shine more and more brrightly, the Devil will try to prevent her from coming to Lord even more intently. So what happened here is that the Devil used the “utterance of words” to oppress herl. This spirit of depression had no complete hold over her as she is growing in her understanding of and has accepted Christ, but it was still able to influence her with a symptom of depression, lethargy. This struck us and we immediately stood up again for prayer. This time I spoke directly to the spirit of depression and immediately the atmosphere lifted, and we got the giggles. We just had to rejoice and praise the Lord it was that powerful! Wow!!! This experience contained such a valuable lesson!


That evening I went to visit a friend, Fiona, I had not spoken to for a while. Both of us having young kids, there isn’t much time to arrange get-togethers, let alone get-togethers where we can actually talk in between diaper changing and nose wiping :). This evening we finally had time to catch up!

I shared my experiences of baptism and everything that had happened in between. She was interested having searched for God in the past and taken part in bible studies. She had not however, seen the works of God made manifest as I was telling her about. At the end of sharing my testimony and explaining where the bible commands us (Christians) to

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received! Matthew 10:8

I offered to pray for her. I asked her what she was struggling with in life. She answered “insecurity” and “striving for perfection”. I commended the spirit of insecurity to go, and the striving for perfection to go as perfection is of God. She said she felt something in her chestbone just above the stomach. Prayed again and it was gone. I prayed over her to be cleansed and set free from oppression completely inn Jesus name. I asked her if she would on her own faith accept Jesus into her heart and she did, she asked Him to forgive her, and to come into her heart. The air became energetic, The Holy spirit came over us so strong. Her face became so soft, angelic looking by lack of better description, no tension in her face, no stress. The peace came over her, it was so clear! So beautifull! We hugged. We couldn’t stop hugging and thanking the Lord. She sat down and the peace of God surrounded us. It was beautiful.

I pray this feeling of security, hope, love, peace and understanding on all people! This is given unto all, by the Grace of God who gave us His son Jesus, the perfect lamb, to die for us on the Cross. This gift of salvation which frees us from sin, sin which keeps us from God, is free for us to accept! We can choose life, choose to love God through loving, and fellowship with, His son. Honest and true fellowship. Speaking to Him and confiding in Him even more so than you would to your best friend! I speak out loud to Him where and whenever I’m alone. And yesterday after this full day of prayer, I was singing and rejoicing and speaking in tongues, praising the Lord! My Jesus! My Lord! And yours if you will accept Him!

Jesus lowers a heartbeat and signals recovery

o a lot has happened since my last post. One of the events worth mentioning is the hospitalization of my 2-year-old daughter. She suffered from a few minor fever fits followed by a big one on Sunday evening. The big one left her breathless. I watched her turn grey. It was very frightening. Her fever had spiked within 20 minutes to 39.9 degrees Celsius (103.8 Fahrenheit).

We called an ambulance and I started to give her some air by performing CPR without compression as I knew during the fit her heart would continue. The emergency call operator said I could stop and she would continue breathing once the fit was over. And indeed this was the case. Once the ambulance arrived we were taken to hospital for a check-up. They could not find what had caused the fever, her clinical examination turned out ok. So we were sent home. The next day she endured another fit, but recovered quickly afterwards. Still high fever. That night she awoke in panic and clearly was having trouble catching her breath. I noticed she was again turning blueish around the mouth and again we called an ambulance. They diagnosed her with “pseudo Croup” a dry cough and advised us to keep her propped up and let her breathe in some steam. I sat up with her the remaining part of the night and noticed she was breathing by contracting her stomach muscles. She was working hard to breathe.

The next morning, I called the General Practitioner. They tested her saturation (oxygen level in blood) which was 89-91% and should be 95% or higher. The doctor called the ambulance and were taken to hospital. On a funny side note: my daughter was visibly exhausted but once she heard the sound of the ambulance she sat up straight and exclaimed “Ambulance!”. After that she laid down again.

Once at the hospital she was put on an oxygen mask. Her levels stabilized but she was still working hard to breathe. That night there was another crisis. She was panicked again for lack of oxygen despite the oxygen mask. The doctors were liaising with another more specialized hospital whether or not she ought to be transferred so that they could intubate her and put her on a breathing machine. My husband was with her at the hospital that night. He called me to inform me of the news. I was in all stated. As I had to babysit my eldest we agreed I would only go to hospital once the decision was final. I immediately started praying. Crying and praying. I was called back and they had decided to keep her at the current hospital and max out the oxygen to 100% and put the oxygen on pressure so that it would be blown into her nose. Thank God this helped to stabilize her again.

In the afternoon my mother and my eldest daughter came to visit. I asked my mum and daughter (4) to lay hands on my youngest and we prayed together. At that time her heart rate had been steady at around 125 (normal is 80-100 in rest). It had been over 200 during the crisis. I asked my mum to say the prayer, being the elder. She prayed with tears as my little one lay asleep with tubes and wires attached to her. When my mum finished the prayer and we said “Amen” the heart rate dropped to 99, signalling an alarm to beep just once as it immediately went back to 125 afterwards. Unbeknownst to me the nurses had put an alarm at the 100 mark so that they could respond immediately when her heart rate would decline either too fast or adjust oxygen levels once she reached a normal range. It was amazing. Just one beep. And it turned out to signal her steady recovery from then onwards. This was Wednesday afternoon. The doctor’s had already convinced us she would stay over Easter for sure. But God had other plans. Her recovery went so rapidly that on Friday she was taken off the oxygen, anti-virals and anti-biotics (of the latter she finished the 3 day course) and we were discharged on Saturday and Home for Easter Sunday, Hallelujah!

The prayer of a righteous man availeth much! James 5:16

Righteous through faith in Jesus and through His faithfulness to us.


Kickstarted in a mall in Alkmaar

During the kickstart weekend the attendees, after receiving some teaching, were divided into groups and sent out to different public locations in Alkmaar to get kick-started. To approach people, tell them about the Gospel and offer to pray for them.

Some people of the public weren’t interested at all. But after some persistence I did get to speak with and pray for a few people. I met a young lady in a wheel chair who had Down Syndrome. The chair was manoeuvred behind a construction pillar in the shop so I could’t approach her directly. I asked the young man pushing the wheelchair if I could pray for the lady. He was her care taker and didn’t see why not! He said she couldn’t speak very well but she was able to understand what I said. So he moved the wheelchair and I knelt down in front of her. Picked up her hands, introduced myself and explained to her I was going to pray for her. She was clearly amused and responded with sound in excitement. I continued to explain that I was going to pray for her in the name of Jesus and then she sat up straight and said: “Jesus? Him I have seen!” Wow! That was amazing! I was astonished and replied that that was wonderful! So we could pray together! I continued to pray for her general health and safety and that she may walk again some day. Argh…’some day’… not a very specific prayer, still building up faith here. Nevertheless she clearly enjoyed the contact and we waived our goodbyes.

Then I noticed an elderly man sitting on a bench in the mall. Great, that meant he had some time to spare. I approached him and explained I had experienced some wonderful things in Christ and I would like to share these experiences with him. He was very clear about his non-belief. He was quite adamant there was no God and there was no way Jesus could heal him either. In fact if he did then he would buy me a diner! I noticed he was wearing hearing aids in both ears and asked if I could pray for his ears. Absolutely not! Then his wife came towards the bench looking a little puzzled. I acknowledged she must be wondering “What is this young lady up to with my husband?”. When I explained I had offered to pray for her husband which he refused I noticed her interest. I offered to pray for her instead and she was happy to accept prayer.

I asked her what I could pray for, did she have any pain in her body? She confirmed she had a painful knee. It always hurt when she was walking about. So I prayed a simple prayer in the name of Jesus over her knee, and she took some steps and the pain was gone! My first healing experience! Wow. Then I continued to pray for her ears as she was also wearing hearing aids. Then the husband started pulling my sleeve and demanding I pray for him! Haha, brilliant. Now I would love to conclude that his or her ears were healed that day, but they weren’t. I believe that the process of healing was started though and I wouldn’t be surprised if later that week either of their ears would start to function properly again. That perhaps it was a proces. But I cannot, unfortunately, confirm whether this happened.

What did happen, and what is essentially is far more important, was that when I asked him whether he wanted to be forgiven of sin and accept Jesus into his heart did! He stood up, asked Jesus into his heart, and with tears in his eyes asked me to arrange for a diner date with him and his wife! I was thrilled! He exclaimed how happy his children would be once they heard he had once again accepted Jesus back into his heart! Tears welled up in my eyes too. I refused the diner though, thinking I was being humble by doing so. But now I regret that so much. I should have had dinner with them and further shared the Gospel and my experiences with the good Lord from since I was young. I trust they will receive my continued long distance prayer though. But the lesson I learnt here is to keep a business card on me to give away so that people can keep in touch if they feel the need to.

All in all good experiences and lessons learnt.

The kickstart weekend – healing ulcerative colitis.

Thursday evening, the day before the weekend was going to start, my mom and I attended the premier of the Last Reformation movie. Very inspiring and again an eye opener. It’s really so simple, just live the way Jesus did. Accept the authority given to the body of Christ and do the works Jesus commanded us to do. Brilliant video, I recommend it to all.

Then the weekend started. Approximately 500 people attended. The teaching was very good. The emphasis being on Jesus and his first disciples. Some really great examples given and testimonies shared. Some 30 modern day fellow disciples of Jesus were present to help kickstart people. All praying for those who came forward.

I needed prayer too. Having battled what was diagnosed to be a chronic illness called ulcerative colitis since 2011, I needed healing. A year ago the colitis flared up again despite medication and inflamed more of my colon than before. The specialist said I should take an immunosuppressant called prednisone. My whole being cringed at the thought and I knew that was not the way to go. I looked up everything about nutrition and diet and effects on the digestive system and came to the conclusion that a lack of micro nutrients, minerals especially, and diet high in gluten was the cause of my grave situation. (BTW did you know the average medical specialist received maybe 1 hour of education on nutrition during their entire education?) Our bodies are the most magnificent machines ever created and they rely on a good source of God’s created nutrients in order to function properly, see also Dr Peter Glidden on 90 essential nutrients.

I radically turned around my diet. Cutting out anything that contained gluten and taking vitamin and mineral supplements (the latter I still believe to be very important as our food is not as rich in nutrients, especially minerals, as it was some decades ago). Indeed I had found significant changes for the better for almost a year during which I took little to no medication. My specialist was surprised I had tamed the flare by diet. Unfortunately a year later the colitis flared up again and I blamed it on a soup I had eaten which by accident contained regular spaghetti instead of the gluten free kind. Since that flare of October 2015 I had to start taking the regular medication again. I have not been able to cut down the medication since without the symptoms coming back one or two days later. In fact a week before the kickstart I forgot to take my medication two days in a row and the symptoms re-appeared the third day.

So there I was, 12 February 2016 in Alkmaar. I walked forward and asked one of those who were offering prayer to pray for my healing. They commanded all sickness and disease to leave my body in Jesus’ name. They commanded all tissue to recover an be healed. I claimed that healing. And stepping out in faith the first thing I did was to go and buy a regular sandwich, thank God for it and enjoy it as my first conscious gluten containing meal in a year. And then it all dawned on me. I still believe a gluten free diet can do you good if you have digestive problems and you do not have faith in God yet. At the same time I have now come to understand as well that all the focus I had put on food and seeking alternatives for gluten containing foods could have been put into worship and trusting God for my healing. My lack of faith and lack of trust caused me to require medication and natural remedies. And don’t get me wrong, I do believe God in his grace has given us great advance in medical science. And I am thankful that this medication exists while we humans lack the faith in God that really we should all have attained by now, by 2016…

So now I’m writing this article it is 2 March 2016. I’m three weeks on since that Friday 12 February when I was healed and I stopped taking the medication cold turkey. And my bowel movements have been fine up to two days ago. I was worried the symptoms were re-appearing. But I now believe it is just an upset stomach as my daughter was having similar symptoms. I keep reminding myself and my body, that on 12 February 2016 I was healed by Christ and the day following on 13 February I was baptised. I died and rose with Christ that day and my body belongs to Him. There is no room for the devil to wreak havoc. This body is now a temple that houses the Holy Spirit. It is therefore perfect and I thank God everyday for it. Now while I’m writing this there is still a little voice in the back of my head that worries at times. But I have no ear for it. I will be perfectly honest about how things progress. And as if God is reassuring me at this very moment (which I truly believe He is) my toilet break was again perfectly normal just now! 🙂 (update of 4 March: I just found a testimony on colitis which describes the process well)

UPDATE: 19-2017
I’ve had a few minor symptoms since this post. Each time I have rebuked the Devil, aksed my friends to join in on prayer and now a little more than a year later I am completely off medication for months now. Before that but since the first prayer, I have not needed anything heavy just the minimum medication on occasion, but nothing like lifelong prednisone! It is really true, “resist the Devil and he will flee”! This means to resist always, not just once. It was a psychological and spiritual fight, I have grown in the process and come out victorious, thanks to God, thanks to Jesus, thanks to the people he put on my path to help in prayer!

I’m not apologetic for the detail here. Feeling ashamed about anything is a perfect way for the devil to keep you in his power. Do not be ashamed of anything that is holding your thoughts or your body captive. Rather bring it into the light, ask someone to pray for you and with you and then let it go and have faith. No matter how dreadful you believe whatever it is that is consuming your attention to be, whether sickness, disease or sin. Christ is bigger. Trust in and call on Him!

So how do you get back on the trust track?

  1. Confess your lack of trust. Read Psalm 51:17; Psalm 86:11; Psalm 51:10
  2. Ask God to re-deposit a hunger for His Word into your heart. Read Psalm 40:8; Hebrews 4:12
  3. 3. Recommit the details of your life—big and small—to God. Read Psalm 37:5
  4. Repeat steps 1, 2 & 3 each day until your trust returns.

For more scripture on trust, truth and triumph click here.


events leading up to my attending the kickstart weekend

January 2015 I fell ill to a crazy out of nowhere pneumonia. At first I didn’t feel ill and besides coughing there was nothing to warn me I was becoming very ill. Finally after a month or so of coughing, the doctor confirmed it was pneumonia and I should take it easy. I explained I didn’t feel ill, in fact I was still very energetic, and perhaps I was on the road to recovering already. The doctor agreed. A week later, still coughing, back to the doctor’s office. The pneumonia had progressed and I received antibiotics. Only then did I really fall ill and was in bed for the next two weeks, with severe shortness of breath and no energy. Recovery to the point where I could return to work took 6/7 weeks.

During this “bed and couch ridden time” I started to look up testimonies of people who had experienced God and more specifically, and importantly, Jesus Christ. I wanted to get to know Jesus better, and besides the awesome biblical accounts of Him, I wanted to know Him as He is working in people today.

On basis of past experiences, and on praying that the Lord would help me to find the testimonies He wanted me to learn from, I was able to discern honest accounts of people who claimed they had met Jesus whether in a dream, vision or out of body experience. I realize this (besides the rest of this website ;)) remains debatable, it is not my intention to convince anyone through second hand experiences. But these experiences did help to build my faith to come to the point where I am at now. I have through the work of God delivered 1 person and healed another. It’s still early days for me but God is working in an amazing way and I know there will be more and more experiences I can share with you as I continue to step out in faith and while I am still learning and growing too!

Matthew 19:26 –  Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

There are some truly amazing testimonies out there, and where I can I will put in links to those that I discern to be genuine. It helps that I have experienced the love of God as well as the trickery and seduction of demons in my life to discern this. I’ve had several out of body experiences too. But they usually left me in confusion. During most of those experiences it wasn’t God prompting me to come out of my body. It must have been something demonic. Nevertheless I know now God allowed me to experience these things, turning evil around for the good. For me to continue to grow spiritually during this time (this goes back years). So much so that I knew to call on Jesus during the latest out of body experience where I was under attack by a demon that had morphed itself into looking like an old friend of mine. When it turned ugly and I recognised it wasn’t my friend, I called out to Jesus and I fell right back into my body. I knew then how very real and timely His power is.

I needed more of Him. I was so hungry for wisdom, for his pureness, righteousness and love. I found more media content. I started to watch Sid Roth, and research the people he interviewed. Now try not to stumble over doctrine and details you may not agree with. Here too you will find some awesome testimonies and some real keys to living life to the fullest and seeing the magnificence of our creator God.

I started listening to beautiful and joyous gospel music, from Freddy Hayler to Aaron Neville. The young messiah and others. Through the music I could worship daily and found myself being overwhelmed with joy and other times with sadness too. Sad that I found this beautiful and gracious truth while so many still choose to condemn it and mock those that have found it.

I found a pentecostal church not far from my home town. Now I believe that church takes place anywhere two or more people talk about God’s Word and/or where they pray together. But I needed a place to go to so that I could worship in fellowship with others. This pentecostal church meeting was held in a school building where one of the classrooms was allocated as prayer room before the service. One hour of prayer before the service! I had never experienced this setting before. I sat there with a handful of others who started to pray out loud in turns. Sometimes some of them prayed in tongues. I was so happy to just sit there and pray along with them. Then I felt energy build up into my chest area and I felt I had to pray out loud too. I was nervous as I wasn’t eloquent in prayer yet (and you don’t have to be!!!) . And when I started to pray out loud I felt connected. I started to cry. And I cried so much, tears and snot were running down my face. I couldn’t help it. I think I satiated a whole toilet role. I was overcome with emotion. Very powerful. Where I used to cry a lot during my teenage years, since my late 20’s I hardly ever cry at all.

Mid January 2016 I fell ill for the second time this winter. With flu like symptoms I just couldn’t get out of bed. I asked God what was up, as I had never experienced having the flu twice in one winter before. And so I felt I was being “kept home” in order to do some more research. However on day one I couldn’t keep my eyes open, let alone read anything. Day two I still couldn’t concentrate enough to read anything. But listening to YouTube was fine. I quickly found myself listening to more of Torben’s videos.

The next day I looked up his website. And I couldn’t believe it! He and his team were coming to The Netherlands! To Alkmaar! I immediately enlisted myself and my mother. There was no doubt in my mind. We were going, and we were going to get kick-started!

The Pioneer School – The Last Reformation

Performing miracles, healing and deliverance is easy once you are set free from doctrine, man made ritual and doubts. These videos are a real eye opener taking you back to the authentic teaching of Christ and his first disciples. Let go of the middle man, and go straight to Christ and the Father and you will experience his Holy Spirit.


Source: The Pioneer School – The Last Reformation

Nothing beats a God given natural high!

I know that there are many spiritual principalities and powers out there, most of which can give any devotee a sense of spiritual awareness and power. However, I also know that the resurrection of Christ is unique and his loving personal interest in each of our lives is truly wonderful, He is the truth and the way. His power gives life and leads to eternal life and I am so thankful to experience the related joy and fullness of God on a daily basis now! This is no exaggeration. That feeling can last forever! It exceeds any type of drug induced high like I have experienced during my student years. In fact it’s not even comparable, as this God given natural high is “unhorrid” and gives life and healing!

Yes, you too can experience this! The proof is in the pudding. Find a disciple of Christ, that is, someone who has close fellowship with Christ as it was described to us in the Bibles “book of Acts”. They can share the gospel and the life of the early Christians to you, before Christianity became institutionalized. They will pray for deliverance, healing and the Holy Spirit for you and can provide you guidance into this new real life.