I fully came to Christ about 2 years ago. I repented, got baptized and received the Holy Spirit. I was elated. As I had seen the spiritual reality both of God and of the devil the teaching of Mr Curry Blake but also of others such as of Mr Torben Sonderguard rang true. They helped to wake me up and equip me to follow Jesus Christ.
I was “kick-started” to help heal the sick and preach the Gospel, and to set people free from demons in Jesus name. I’ve witnessed deliverance and healing. My walk was full on in the Lord. I never felt so alive. I was full of energy and every spare minute of the day (when not concentrating on the job or on my kids) my mind was on Christ. I was giving the Holy Spirit all the room and I was even used by the Lord to bring 5 people at my work to Christ! Baptism and all. And this in a very “professional” secular environment…
I wasn’t perfect, but my love for the Lord and to obey Him seemed perfect.
Then came an accident. I fell from a ladder and crushed my heelbone. I was hospitalised. I tried to pray right away but I was overwhelmed with pain. My parents were on the scene, my kids, it was too much for me to handle. My foot was operated on a week later and I wasn’t allowed to walk on it for 3 months. I was given morphine 4-6 weeks. Getting off themwas a terror as well. I went through a week of no sleep as I quit using them cold turkey. My faith in God never faded, but my faith in my ability to work for God faded immensely.
The accident took place in September 2017. Now that I’ve been fully back to work since end of January I feel deflated.
I feel I let God down, Im frustrated at some of my family members who instead of praying with me would be all to ready to point out that “see, you can’t even “heal” your “heel”. No Matter how clear I am that it is Jesus who heals when healing takes place…
I won’t let the Devil nor his Minions win, they have taken advantage of the situation by many smaller attacks of course and I’m getting warn down. I try to fast, I can’t even complete one day. I don’t feel confident anymore to pray for people out of fear of getting one more rejection. And while I’m writing this I understand I have to push through. And I will, but I could really use some prayer to help me get out of this miserable state. Less of me more of Jesus. But my mind is foggy as well. I can’t handle too much input. I feel overtired.
Thank you for your prayers, Jesus will prevail in me!