Be real, show yourself to others as you are

Today has been an amazing day, going through emotions from an ultimate low to an ultimate high.

A few weeks back I found myself thinking about a new car and googling new cars researching prices etc. I had no need for a new car, there was no reason for this sudden interest. I noticed the thought didn’t let me go. I told my husband I felt we would be needing a new car sooner than we had envisaged. Unfortunately I left it at that and took no further steps to check out our current car properly.

Today, we were all packed and ready to go on holidays when we decided to quickly have the car checked as we heard some rattling noise coming from the back right of the car. My husband took the car to the garage and I completely forgot about my thoughts those few weeks prior. I was expecting good news as the rattling sounded more like one of my kids had dropped a marble which was rolling around somewhere. To the contrary, it was bad. Some axle or rod connected to the wheel suspension was bent (ok, so cars are not my forte). We were advised against travelling.

My heart broke. My 5 year old was all geared up to go, and having to disappoint her was gruelling. And then all the wasted money and preparation, and a ferry to catch around noon! Aargh. I felt sick to my stomach. I cried a little but didn’t want my two year old to notice (the eldest was at the garage with dad). I went into prayer. Asking the Lord for wisdom for my husband and I to handle this situation well.

Thankfully I could change our ferry booking as well as the hotel reservation with limited additional cost. We did our research and found a good car an hours drive up north. A newer model than our old one, which was kind of exciting too! On our way back we stopped at what wee though would be a pancake place, but in actual fact they only served fries and snacks. At first I wanted to leave and get some proper food. But the place was really quaint and the man behind the counter was very engaging and friendly.

So we ordered our fries, and I’m so pleased we did! We got to talking and he shared with us his story of how he had recently bought the place and fixed it up. And how he was loving the flow he was in now but also looking forward to being able to take it a little more easy soon once the project had been properly set up.

I found myself concurring with him that its important to take rest now and then. And that people should more often follow their heart and do what they enjoy, that which brings them fulfilment instead of what they think they have to do in order to meet the expectations of society, family, friends etc.

He pointed out that the painting above my head, which was very dear to him, explained just that! (I’ve asked to be sent a photo of the painting, I cant remember exactly but will upload asap). It was about being genuine. About being who you really are. No facades.

This hit home to me. One of those moments when you hear yourself talking to another person and thinking, wow that’s pretty wise, I should take note myself! In accordance with my previous post I’d been taking it easy for a while. Not engaging with others about Christ as much as I used to and thereby I realised I was no longer on fire. And not being on fire takes away from my courage. And not having courage takes away my boldness to approach people to offer them prayer. And I know that THE way to rekindle that fire is simply to do the will of God. And what is his will? Well at least part of it is cleary described:

7 As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. Matthew 10:7-8

It is the act of faith that relights the fire of Holy Spirit in you. And so I have again learnt this evening. I acted upon the words to be who I really am. And I know, I really am a child of the most high God. I, though I am female, have become a son of God the day I accepted Jesus into my heart! (Gender is not important in the spiritual realm btw). So anyhow, that means that I should act like one. So I referred to the text and explained that I regularly pray for people and offered him prayer. His face lit up. Yes he was clearly pleasantly surprised! And so I explained a little and then prayed for him. And what happened next was mind-boggling!

The music that was playing all evening were regular pop songs. At the moment I finished my prayer and I quieted myself, keeping my hands on his feet, the song that was playing in the back ground was that of Joan Osborne, “One of Us” and the verse that was sang at the moment I shut up was:

If God had a face, what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like Heaven and in Jesus and the saints
And all the prophets? And…

Wow! God never ceases to amaze!

We continued a very interesting conversation. Sharing past experiences and discussing manifestations of God which he had before encountered. When were done I asked him how his feet were doing, and he replied, he didn’t want to interrupt our conversation or he would have told me sooner, but his feet were now warm, whereas they had always been cold (and no, I didn’t lay my hands on in such a manner as to warm his feet…) He felt a warming sensation ever since the prayer.

Missing our boat to England has been so worth it because of this divine appointment. And the rest of the evening my heart felt like it were to explode! I felt like singing and dancing and shouting about His love from the rooftops!

Thank you Lord Jesus!

 

 

Rebuke the Devil by healing for God

We celebrated my mothers birthday one Sunday. My mother and I had not long before attended the Last Reformation Kick Start weekend in Zelhem. My mother was eager to share our experiences with the rest of the family. Unfortunately one of the in-laws was not amused about about the experiences she was sharing about healing and deliverance. The conversation quickly and amazingly turned ugly.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

To make a long story short, the discussion was ended and the in-law and their family left ion reasonably good terms, but the damage already seemed to have been done.

I refused to let the birthday end like this. To have the Devil disrupt and take away my mothers joy and the joy of everyone who came to celebrate. I prayed to God that we may manifest His Spirit and prove that the experiences my mother shared were truthful.

As the rest of us walked to the car park, a young lady on crutches came towards us. She was of Indian descent and accompanied by her mother. I was walking in the middle of the group and when we passed each other I asked her directly, what happend to your foot?

She and her mom stopped and she shared she had broken all her toes during a kickboxing match. It made me smile as I had recently learned of another “street healer” who had healed a guy who broke a bone in his fist from fighting. God want to reveal himself to all and it is not up to us to judge who has the greater sin. We have all sinned…

So I asked her if I could pray for her foot and she said yes. I leaned down, prayed in Jesus name and she immediately felt improvement. Prayed one more time and she was astonished. Asked me ow I did it. I explained it’s Jesus! I was too excited myself to continue explaining the Gospel to her, instead I called back the two family members who had walked ahead for them to see what happened. Those behind me stopped and looked on as well. I wished her a great day and she walked off and while she walked off we could all see her firstly give one crutch to her mom and then the second and she walked perfectly normal, still looking about in amazement. Wow! Thank you Lord!

 

Patience

Sitting on the couch, feeling frustrated. I feel like I’m unable to walk in the Spirit and no longer confident to do the Word by myself. I’ve been obsessively trying to find out everything there is to know about God, Jesus and the spiritual reality around us. Finding many treasures and keys during my search but essentially casting them to one side as they did not satiate my hunger to know more, to understand. Not realising that these keys need to be digested. Meditated upon. I gulped them in search of the next.

Speaking with a friend of mine, whom I was honoured to baptise a few weeks ago, she asked me if I ever considered becoming a preacher. Yes I would love to use all my time to study the scripture, preach the Gospel and demonstrate the Spirit. We continued talking and I shared relevant scripture passages with her. I was at the time already overtired. I was diligently seeking the right words to help her, at the same time I did not want to burden her with some of the things I had learned. I had been researching a lot about madness in people and demons and how they manifest. I had encountered an individual who was clearly in severe bondage of a demonic nature. I prayed for the person but felt inadequate at doing so, and I felt the need to be better prepared in case it would needed again in the future. Therefore I had been reading up on peoples experiences. Really focusing on understanding the works of Satan in and through individuals, how his bondage and oppression comes to being and more importantly how it is broken. The research left me feeling burdened and it had sucked the joy out of me. It made me lose hope for some people.

My friend noticed I wasn’t my usual self, and asked me sternly if I was happy. She said she notices my eyes flashing back and forth and said It looked like my eyes were showing signs of madness themselves! And she was right. I had exerted myself. Too much too fast. I was struggling to tie it all together. Information overload and over-tiredness seemed to be getting the better of me. Not good. I agreed I needed to rest and let things rest for a few days.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Honestly it shook me a little. I felt my ego wanting to get into the defensive. But I knew she was right. In fact I had been getting hints to let it all rest but I made excuses to continue researching. I no longer was learning for the better, but more and more looked like a morbid obsession. It literaly gripped me.

Thank God for my friend. I know I would have stepped back into the positive sooner or later, but I’m glad this meeting set me back on track sooner and NOT later. So I recalled that indeed God gave me a sound mind. I needed to take control over my interests. God want us to be strong in body mind amd spirit. And so I thought I’s better focus on the body and the mind a bit more now. So I started to work out, eat properly and read a little less. Nevertheless, while I’m writing this I’m still sitting on that couch and I feel like I’m failing…

I just cried out to the Lord, why am I messing it all up? I wasn’t able to continue doing more research. I just sat quietly on this couch. Interestingly I know all will be fine, but I still feel so shitty that eventhough I truly trust I will be fine for God, I’m pissed off at myself for still messing it all up these past few weeks.

I visualised myself sifting through many pages and documents which partly disintegrated and flew about as I ravaged through them. And after some silence it was revealed unto me that I was disrespecting all the little pearls of truth that had been given to me during my research, during my search for truth. Not taking the time to meditate on them, and give some time for them to become ingrained in my memory and soul. I was acting out the role of the “swine” before which were thrown beautiful pearls and I was trampling over them trying to find the end all truth and knowledge, the bigger picture. And of course this is in fact only known by God the Father Himself. Wow what revelation. In other words, take it easy! Relax! Do what you can in the time and opportunity given to you and if it works out great, if it doesn’t learn from it, dust yourself off and continue in good spirit!

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11: 28-30

And with that came the insight that I need to sit down and post more blogs. I need to write about my experiences and the revelations given to me to help me digest it all! And if you enjoy reading, great! and if it helps you out, even better! For me it is cathartic!

So in essence I started to follow my own will, or at least what I thought I needed. Instead of seeking my lessons from God through experience. I have enough head knowledge as it is. it’s walking in the faith that build the spirit. and who could be a better teacher than the Holy Spirit. He is our portion deliverer! I love it, thank you Lord!

Patience:

Better a patient person than a warrior,
one with self-control than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.